Sunday, March 18, 2012

Hitting A Wall

How is it Sunday already?!  I intended to be very productive this weekend.  In fact, I had a well-organized list of all the things I wanted to accomplish.  But somehow, none of my big plans ended up materializing.  Instead, I got lazy.  It happens, right?  
Brian was ski patrolling this weekend, so on St. Patrick's Day, my sister kindly offered to get me out of the house for a couple hours.  We hit up a few establishments during the afternoon, before anything got too crazy, and more importantly, before any cover charges were in effect!
 
Before you criticize our lack of green, just take a look at our pants!
 
Yes, that is actual sunlight you see.  The sun came out for about 7.5 minutes - and it was awesome.
 
Obligatory self-portrait.
 
The countdown to St. Patrick's Day is complete!
 
We couldn't resist the the green Bud Light bottles.  Cheers!
 
Thanks, Kimmy, for celebrating St. Paddy's Day with me!

Now, changing gears...

Friends, I'm hitting a wall with my Stopping Spree.  I'm at that stage where I've proved I can do it...now the question is, do I want to do it?  Don't get me wrong - I'm not quitting.  It's just getting harder.  It's sort of like exercising for three months, losing the ten pounds you wanted to lose, and then asking yourself, "So why do I still need to work out?"

I know the answer to that question.  You continue to exercise (or abstain from shopping, in my case) because it's good for you.  Because it's how you maintain.  Because it builds discipline and establishes healthy priorities.  Because it's the right thing to do.

If I'm completely honest with myself, I think it's the lack of a Spring Break trip that's really getting me down.  I won't complain about it too much because I recognize that there are many people who haven't taken a trip in years... 

But still.  Brian and I haven't been very successful in the baby department, and we sort of view travel as our consolation prize.  Travel is our "thing."  It's what we do to feel like we have a purpose.  Without children, it's easy to feel left out.  So it's become important for us to have something special to look forward to - and that's the role that travel plays.  This may sound incredibly stupid, but I feel like I've been stripped of a part of my identity.  

Last night, Brian and I spent a good two hours looking at vacation packages on Groupon and Expedia.  I don't know why we tortured ourselves like that, but wow - there are so many beautiful places in this world that I want to see.  I think this may be the very first time in our marriage that we haven't taken a Spring Break vacation.  Brian will likely spend the entire week skiing (which is like a vacation to him), so he's not as discouraged as me.  Unfortunately, all I see for myself is a week sitting around the house, alone. 

(Sigh.)

But enough "Debbie Downer" whining.  I don't want to start my week on a bad note.  My lack of vacation is probably just an opportunity in disguise.  A week off of work is an opportunity for me to tackle projects around the house, to re-read books, to get a headstart on Easter decorations.  Maybe I need to find a new "thing" to help my life feel purposeful.  Maybe I need to start volunteering somewhere or get more deeply involved in our community.  I'm not sure, but it looks like I'll have a whole week of Spring Break to figure something out.     

4 comments:

  1. Keep going! You're doing awesome! It's totally understandable for you to feel bummed about no spring break vacation. So make plans to go next year and incorporate that into your Stopping Spree goals. You get to make the rules -- if travel is your thing, there is no reason to not travel -- nobody is keeping score and life is too short not to be happy. =) Your life, your priorities! From watching people who have participated in the Compact, all-or-nothing tends to burn you out on the process quickly.

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    1. @knittin - Thanks! I dig the way you think! I'm definitely dreaming of a sunny Spring Break next year...and hopefully by then, I'm in a better position to pay for my fun!

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  2. I have to say, you can't quit. While this is not entirely the same thing, let me tell you, My soberity date is January 4, 2011. Since that date, as a 22 year old girl I have not had any mind/mood altering substances in my body. Drugs, alcohol, certain cough syrups and cold medicines, pain killers perscribed for totally legitimate purposes. NOTHING! OVER A YEAR!!!!!!! And this is where we may be different, but I know I can never casually pick up a beer or a pill again. I will return to the same habits. Just think, what would happened and how you would feel if you STOPPED your shopping spree. Spring break sounds like a good time to have coffee with me :)

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    1. You're absolutely right! I woke up the morning after I wrote this post and was SO GLAD I didn't get crazy and book a trip to Tahiti or something. Once you "cheat" (even a little), it just makes it that much easier to cheat some more. I'm proud of your commitment to sobriety - it's definitely an inspiration to me!

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